Free booksies

Everybody knows that I 1) love books, 2) love free books, 3) love Neil Gaiman. So I was very excited to see that American Gods has been made available online free in a one month trial. Not only should you head over there to read it asap as its really good. (American gods is a fantastically imaginative mediation on what would happen if the old gods from eygpt, norse, greek, india etc made their way over to America). You should also go over there because Harper Collins free trial should definitely be encouraged. There are also a lot of other free books encompassing a variety of genres.

Earlier in the week I read this article about Random House removing DRM protection on audio books simply because DRM is ineffective. Well done to Random House! All of this combined with the rise of the Kindle reader is pointing to interesting times ahead in the world of books. I don't think that advances in technology will ever make the tactile experience of reading obsolete. But I can definitely see the advantages of being able to carry a library of 5oo books on something a little bigger than a ipod. Anything that aim to make reading more accessible is good by me.

Birdhouse in your soul

Some days you have one of those grinding days where everything feels a bit grey, a little harsh, as if all of the joy has been sucked out of the world. HR have messed up my (and a couple of others peoples) pay slips. So I haven't been paid yet and they have no timescale for when this will be sorted out. All in all I was in a pretty vile mood.

But then I spoke to Ros who cheered me up, then I spoke to my dad who came out with some pretty stellar advice. And it reminded me that even when you are having a day that is not even in the same universe as fantastic sometimes all you can do is breathe deeply, let it all go, and start again. Do whatever you can to look after yourself:
talk to friends, look through old holiday snaps, read the book you've been saving for a special occassion, eat something that is so delicious it feels like a blessing in your mouth, wrap yourself up in blankets and watch buffy, or listen to some uplifiting music. Just when thought I was going to cry Birdhouse in your soul by They might be giants came on my ipod. It was like a shaft of light had come from through the clouds. Audio bliss

Work-in-progress

So I thought I'd post today about the origins of the my work-in-progress (WIP).

NB prepare for much writer navel gazing:)

A bit of background: I've written stories for as long as I could remember. Even as a child I was always fanciful. Why tell a story about a cat, when it could be a cat who was the secret emperor of the universe, and whose unholy weakness was having his stomach scratched. Why tell a story of women waking up from a coma when it could be the story of women called Mimsy. With amnesia. Who everyone thinks is a prostitute. But that actually her identical twin, Limsy. (Sadly this is all true apart from the names Limsy/Mimsy - I was a very strange child)

This story started as all the others did with an idea. Or rather a memory, a boy and a girl on a bridge and a knife. I can remember the day so clearly, it was summer and I was walking home from work and the idea popped into my brain. I'd had ideas like this before. I knew that it would torment me, play over and over again like a scratched tape until I wrote it down. My witchy muse is relentless until I obey her.

So I played around with it. But I couldn't decide how well if at all the boy and girl knew each other. There was no antagonist just nameless formless evil.

A couple of months later a character came fully formed into my head. I knew what he looked like (golden like the sun and just as dazzling), how he sounded (like a young Alan Rickman) and what he wanted. He wanted into this story, so I wrote him in.

The plot grew around these three characters. And then all the while this story was percolating in my head and it grew into a trilogy. I knew very clearly what I wanted to accomplish in the second book. But in the first book beyond the opening scene and the end, I didn't know where I wanted the characters to go.

Then almost a year on from that initial idea I had an idea. I was just about to turn 25 and it suddenly dawned on me that if I wanted to write a book, I should write a book. Simple, non?

Previously I had always believed that all I needed to do was wait around for my witchy muse to send me the ideas and write them down and my career as a glorious writer would be assured. And yes maybe if I had sat around waiting for inspiration to strike eventually many looooooooooooonnng years later I would have finished my novel. But it struck me that a more practical way of doing things would be to try and write even when I didn't feel like writing.

This may seem very obvious but for me it was paradigm altering. Being such an avid reader I had always had a very romantic view of the writer as artist. I'd glossed over all that work stuff (too much like, well, work).

Also motivating me was that I was now working with two other people who were also trying to write. Despite having busy lives and young children they wrote in the evenings and at
weekends - all my excuses were dissolving

So I gathered together everything I had and started writing. Of course having thought about this story for over a year I had a over 7,000 words which was immediately heartening. I tried to write everyday fitting in writing on lunch breaks, in the evenings, and at weekends.

There were bumps along the way the first time I wrote blind (not knowing where the story was going), when I hit the Great Swampy Middle. I loved it. It was so much fun to absorb myself in a world completely of my making. And as the story grew the sheer weight of the words motivated me.

I finished the first draft early this year. And although I'm waist deep in revisions and doubting everything that sense of exhilaration is still with me. I love writing. And I hope I never forget that.

Links-a-plenty

I'm having one of those days at work when the normal rules of time don't seem to apply. The task that is supposed to take five minutes (and have been sorted on Friday) eats into a morning*. While something I thought would take all afternoon, I've finished in half an hour. Along the way I've discovered all sorts of nifty photoshop tricks and my desktop has started to look like the graveyard where files come to die.

The above picture is courtesy of the lovely Irayla (I get to be Belle, because who wouldn't be wooed by a library? swoon (also am I the only one who thought the Beast was more attractive as a Beast then the freaky weird human he turned into at the end of the film? I always preferred the Angela Carter retellings of Beauty and Beast, lush, sensuous and creepy)).

So this amused me.

As did this even more celeb cameo heavy response (Harrison Ford!!!).

I've also found out about this: Dunning Kruger effect which explains every ignorant bigot I have ever met. Basically people who have little knowledge tend to judge their grasp of an area higher than those who comparatively have much more knowledge but rate their expertise more critically. Ignorance is bliss.

I'm off to book group tonight, (I'll discuss this month's book in tomorrows' post). Book group always makes me feel delightfully grown up not at all like the real me, who has three savings accounts and no savings, who is still learning to drive, and who ate nothing but chocolate for supper last Friday.

*Sadly this is almost entirely down my extreme stupidity, quelle surprise, n'est-ce pas?

You've got questions, I've got answers!

So I'm having one of those days when even choosing what bagel to eat for lunch is causing a meltdown of epic proportions (philadelphia and cucumber vs feta and spinach? Argh!). So instead of having to make pesky decisions for myself why not let my ipod do it for me? Today Madame Rowanna and her spirit guide nano will answer everything you ever wanted to know and more! From the mundane to the mystic see below for the answers!

Q:Will I ever be a published author?
Song:'I've got a Theory' by Buffy the Vampire Slayer cast from Once More with Feeling
Analysis: Interesting. The song on the whole is about the different theories each of the characters have about what is causing people to spontaneously burst into song and dance. An upbeat musical number its also an ensemble piece which suggests that to be successful I need the support of an ensemble of people. The song ends with Buffy chiming with a rousing chorus supported by the rest of the characters 'What can't we face if we are together?'. The last line 'There's nothing we can't face - except for bunnies.' indicates that I should temper by dreams with realism. All in all a tentative yes.

Q:Will Lost ever be concluded satisfactory?
Song: Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds by the Beatles
Analysis: Eh? This song is very Lost appropriate, its like a trip or a dream full of 'meaningful' symbols and dream logic (aka brain vomit). I think this is the musical equivalent of have the writers been smoking crack? Aka there will be answers but they will make no sense. But be very pretty while making no sense. (Sawyer le sigh)

Q:Should I get another tattoo?
Song: Worried About Ray by the Hoosiers
Analysis: 'The future's out to get you', 'I'm treading on my tippy-toes/I'm painfully so worried about Ray.' Hmm I'm thinking this a pretty conclusive no and also indicating that if I ever get a tattoo it will be involve my toes and be painful. Thanks nano, whatever would I do without your helpful guidance :)

Q:Should I go and buy some chocolate buttons?
Song: 74-75 by the Connells
Analysis: At first glance the title seems to be a not veiled reference to size I will be in if I give into the craving for chocolate buttons (75 stone, nano thats just rude). I will be 'Sorry ever after' if I give into my cravings (who knew chocolate buttons would be such a pivotal point in my future). But as the song seems to indicate 'There's nothing to say' as if this a mistake I shall inevitably make.

Q:Will I be BF* 4eva** with Irayla, Bunny and Ros?
Song: Everlong by the Foo Fighters
Analysis: Aaah, I heart this song so much. 'Hello/ I've waited here for you/ Everlong.' True, I did wait a while to meet them (til I was 14 ancient!). 'If everything would ever feel this real forever/if anything would ever be this good again/ the only thing I'll ever ask of you/ you've got to not to stop when I say when' seeming to indicate treasure these moments because afterwards you will look back and realise how great the times were. Nothing but good times ahead :)

Q:Will the Boy's business be a success?
A: Bawitdaba by Kid Rock
Analysis: Now nano is just messing with my brain. All the references to methadone clinic, hookers, hood, pit, the porno flicks could indicate a certain moral grubbiness or mean that his business reaches out to certain demographic. Sadly as I can't hear what Kid Rock is actually saying its all a bit of a mystery.

Conclusion: With the help of my guide nano I have peeled back the veil to reveal the abyss of the future that stretches before me. Try it yourself***

*BF=Best friends, for those of you who are not fifteen or my Lil Sis
**4eva=For ever, see above
***Disclaimer: Madame Rowenna and her guide nano recommend that you only undertake the peeling back of the veil to reveal the abyss of the future TM under the guidance of a trained professional

Blade Runner Final Cut

Last night I went to the late night showing of Blade Runner Final Cut. It was showing at one of the best cinemas in my city, a small independent cinema that shows an esoteric range of films from indie, mainstream, and cinema classics. They also sell alcohol and home made cakes (last night I had chocolate tart - yummy).

I first watched Blade Runner late at night on TV, not only was it the old version with the cheesy voice over and the last scene was of them driving in the sun (because its all OK, kids!). It also had a couple of key scenes edited out for TV, in particular all of the eyeball scenes, I guess because of the violence. In this early version it was clear Dekkard was the good guy, and the replicants were the bad guys. Later I watched the far superior Directors Cut (not to be confused by the Final Cut :)) on dvd, but last night was the first time I watched Ridley's Scotts remastered version.

So not only was I watching the film last night with these ghost versions showing in my head. I was also rewatching the film from a completely different perspective. Blade Runner came out the year I was born, and I think the first time I watched it I must have been 12 or 13. It was my introduction to noir films. I hadn't yet watched Metropolis, Chinatown or The Maltese Falcon. I had never read any Philip K Dick, Isaac Asimov or John Wydenham. I didn't yet know why Blade Runner was such a good movie because I hadn't read or watched the canon of movies that inform it. I just knew that it was brilliant.

Watching the film last night was like returning to a place you once loved, everything was the same and everything had changed. From the opening sequence with the shot over LA and the pouff of the flames erupting from the power station to the last scene with the origami unicorn. Watching it now having seen and read a lot of exceptional sci fi (and some extremely dire sci fi) added to my appreciation of the film.

At the moment I'm obsessed by editing, how making a seemingly minuscule change can influence the entire tone, plot, feel of a book. So it was interesting to look at how this works visually. The main change (from what I can remember) is the removal of the cheesy voice over. This serves to make Dekkard's motivations much more opaque and his character more amoral. Sort of like changing a story from first person to third limited perspective, the voice over helps you identify with the character, by removing it allows you to make up your own mind. I think Ridley Scott also rejigged the chase scene at the end with Roy and Dekkard to up the tension. Of course now I want to go back and look at the two earlier versions and see if I can spot the cracks!

I always feel sympathy for the replicants: the desperate need to meet your maker and seek recompense for the flaws of your creation is fertile ground (see Frankenstein et al). The brutality with which Dekkard retires the replicants is too close to the violence they inflict on those that come across their path.

The little details intrigued me, the advertisements for the off world colonies, the fact that real animals were too expensive and replicants were cheaper, the fake memories, and asian advertisements. And there were eyes everywhere, the golden hue of the replicants eyes, the eye man, Priss spray painting over her eyes Roy boring out Tyrell's eyes. A good use of a motif for a film obsessed with our perceptions of reality.

The boy said that he found the noir elements overpowering. Like a rich meal the shadowy lighting, the incessant rain, the beautiful decrepid settings were a little much for his pallet. I loved it, of course. The lighting, the sets, the costumes. even the characters - everything was used, dirty, jaded.

Afterwards there was the eternal debate about whether or not Dekkard is a replicant (for the record I think its a yes the photos, the unicorn dreams, and Grak leaving the unicorn at the end (Oh Adama how I love you!) all seem to point to this. Although the film is ambiguous enough to not answer the question conclusively)

I'm so glad that I got the chance to see the film in the cinema

Cutting

I spent most of this evening reworking a scene in my book. Fiddling around with a couple of key pieces of dialogue and trying to making them fit into the new flow of the story. And one after the other I deleted them. I think I kept about 300 words total of a 1,500 scene. I remember writing the original passage so clearly. I'd be trying for about a month to get Maya (my protagonist) out of her home town and to London. In my original conception of the book the scenes of Maya at her home were considerably shorter. But as I began to write the initial scenes grew, mutating, taking on a strange life of their own. Maya wanted, no needed, to spend more time at home.

My first pass at the scene in the club in London was awkward. There were a lot of things that I knew I needed to fix, but if fit the book as I had it originally conceived. Having finished the first draft my understanding particular of the characters, and the underlying themes has deepened. Even knowing this I still approached the editing of this scene thinking that I would integrate some key changed plot points, and polish some of the dialogue. I didn't intend to cut it all. But once I started I could see the scene taking shape before me, as its true form had been hidden behind the extraneous words. Instead of feeling sad at all that work lost, I felt a sense of relief as I deleted each paragraph. I knew that I was doing what was right for the book

Book Review: Temeraire by Naomi Novik

The hook for Temeraire is inspired– dragons and their captains set across the backdrop of the Napoleonic wars (think Patrick O'Brian crossed with Anne McCafferty). It was this combined with the stunning cover that made me pick up this novel.

Digression: I used to work in the editorial department of a Big Publishing Company so I know how much influence authors have over cover design (very, very little). That said I think the cover fitted the subject matter perfectly. I love the calligraphy of the title and the striking embossed black illustration that flows around the title and author name. All in all it was beautiful so big gold star to all involved.

Captain Will Laurence captures a French ship and as part of the bounty gains a rare dragon's egg. The war with France is not going well, but that dragon if properly trained could provide the vital strategic advantage that England is looking for. When the dragon hatches whilst on board on the ship it imprints itself on Laurence, destroying his beautiful future in the navy, and condemning him to a live as an aviator.

I really enjoyed this book. The authorial voice is confident blending it with contemporary literature of the period. Its full of little historical details which give you confidence that Novik know her period back to front (for example the aviator boys putting kohl beneath their eyes to protect them from the glare of the sun). I really liked the descriptions as dragons as sentient beings. In particular some of the more childish aspects of Temeraire and Laurence's relationship where hilarious, they bickered like an old married couple (Temeraire 's jealously of Laurence cleaning other dragons, and their discussion as to the 'attractions' of Dover)

Novik skillfully weaved women into the narrative without being anachronistic and compromising the reality of the historical period. All in all the the world building was excellent introducing the dragon mad aviators with their crumpled clothing and secretive training schemes (dragons as head trainers - oh yes). I also loved the whole notion of the dragons breeding the aviators to beget a new generation of dragons. Very funny. As well as the different breeds of dragons each with their own particular strengths and weaknesses. There were also a couple of moments with a certain dragon being mistreated that was so heartwrenching sad I couldn't bear it.

However there were a couple of elements that jarred for me. Novik takes great pains to tell us how Temeraire's imprinting on Laurence disrupts his life: his career in the navy, his relationships was his family and his fiancée . But I felt there was a bit of telling as opposed to showing. Almost immediately Laurence develops a relationship with Temeraire. He shows very little resentment or disappointment. I didn't feel that the character went on the emotional journey I wanted or expected (ie longing for the life he left behind and gradually realising how exciting and fulfilling his new world was). All in all the new world he's entering into is too good, too exciting for him to feel much regret about what he is leaving behind.

Tied up in this was that Laurence and Temeraire were just too perfect. The characters that haunt me (Elizabeth Bennett, Heathcliff, Alanna), are difficult, flawed people. They are interesting because they make mistakes, because they change, and because they suffer. Laurence and Temeraire seem always to right. Temeraire is the brightest, the rarest of all the dragons. Laurence despite having little background in aviation often comes up with innovative ideas. I just felt it would be a little more satisfying in terms of character development if there happy ending was earned (yes I am an author sadist mwhahahaha).

Despite these minor gripes, all in all it was skilfully done and I cannot wait to read the many sequels and find out what happens to Temeraire and Laurence.

Book review: Skin Hunger by Kathleen Duey

I often think its harder to review things you love. It easier to point out the flaws and to revel in the snark; but when you love something it is so difficult to analyse why? So if your expecting a coherent critical analysis (and really shouldn't you know better by now?) this is not the place to find it.

I loved Skin Hunger. It is the first in a series called the Resurrection of Magic trilogy. My heart always sinks when I pick up a book that is the part of a series. Partly because I have an instant gratification problem and I need to have my ending (my catharsis) now! Partly because, in fantasy in particular, the series novel is often misused as a form to drag out plots and characters that have well exceeded their shelf life. (And I say this being midway through my own ya uf trilogy - so I know the pitfalls better then most). But this was pitch perfect.

The story is told from the dual pov of Sadima and Haph, who stories despite being seperated by years, are deeply entwined. Sadima is gifted with the ability to speak to animals, in a world in which magic and wizards had been discredited. She forms an uneasy triangle between the cruelly ambitious Somiss, who is determined to resurrect magic, and Franklin who Sadima has fallen desperately in love with. Decades later Haph the son of a rich merchant is enrolled at a school for wizards which is more evocative of a prisoner of war camp then Hogwarths. Unable to leave, the apprentice wizards are forbidden to help each other and starved unless they can conjure food.

In particular the scenes of Haph inside the stone city and the descriptions of the physical depredations he and the other apprentice wizards undergo are darkly fascinating. The emotionally wrought relationships between Somiss and Franklin, Franklin and Sadima and Sadima and Somiss showcase Somiss's growing sadism and the lengths he will go to restore magic and Franklin's inability to part himself from Somiss. The beauty of the language contrasts with the savagery of the subject:

'The magician’s face softened abruptly and she reached to pat Micah’s cheek, then grasped his hand, hard. She leaned close. “Make one more sound and I won’t come. Do you hear?” He nodded, staring at her hand on his. He would remember, all of his life, her yellowed fingernails, rimmed in black—little half moons of filth.'

The structure of the Skin Hunger ramps up the tension as you desperately try and decipher how Sadima's story lead into the creation of the academy of magic and Haph's training as an apprentice wizard. Like a before and after picture you have to fill in the gaps between and draw parallels between the two stories. And you are powerless to change these events because they have, in essence, already happened. I cannot wait for the second in the series.

Inspiration

Reading this has made me very happy indeed. And happiness on a Monday is a rather more elusive feeling than on a Friday. I'm off to take a moonbath, I may be some time...

Doubt weasels

I've finished the first draft of my novel and I'm currently at that bit in the revision process where the doubt weasels are gnawing at me and I'm considering jacking it all in to go and bake.

The problem is that when I write I love what I'm writing, its fresh, its new, its undoubtedly an outstanding work of staggering genius. If the novel in progress was a person we would be at that stage in our relationship where I'm name-checking it every three minutes, whether the conversation is relevant or not 'Novel likes ice lollies too!'.

But editing requires a completely different mindset. When your editing you have to 'kill your darlings'. And when your rewriting as well as editing (combining love of the project with a critical eye) well its a hard slog. Unlike when your writing a first draft and you can rely on the word count to keep you motivated, this is not much help when editing. Because you could have had a really productive morning and -1,4500 words. So instead I'm trying to rewrite for a solid hour. We'll see how it goes.

Anyway after wrestling with a mid point scene in which three characters intersect for the first time for most of the morning, I'm done. The sun is shining. Its a Saturday and The Boy is making neglected noises. We're off to the museum. The doubt weasels will wait til tomorrow.

A trivial mind

This can only be a good thing.

I love gossip. I have a mind that clings relentlessly to the trivial, I can remember all the songs from Labryinth, plots from every Sweet Valley High book (Wakefields 4 eva!) but ask me about the English constitutional system and all you'll get will be a dazed look.

So I was always an avaricious consumer of gossip magazines. I bought one of the first issues of heat magazine (although I haven't been buying for over a year now. No moral fortitude just that gossip sites are better and more available when your bored at work). A couple of months ago heat released a pull section of stickers one of which was a sticker of Jordan's son Harvey with a speech bubble saying 'Harvey wants to eat me'.

Yep. I don't know where to begin by expressing how disgusted I was by this. But to prevent muchas pointless ranting here's the breakdown:

1) Harvey is five years old
2) Harvey is not a celebrity (he's not placed himself in the public eye for his actions to be commented on)
3) Harvey is disabled. He suffers from septo-optic dysplasia, a rare condition which means he is visually impaired and suffers from hormonal deficiencies hence his size

Heat by publishing this are making fun of a disabled, non famous five year old. Which is so beyond acceptable, no matter what pathetic apologies they may make afterwards. So three months ago, I stopped buying all Emap products out of protest (this also coincided (with a rant for another day) the realisation that the majority of women's magazines serve to make you feel crap about yourself and pimp loads of overpriced tat you don't need so you can fill that gaping hole within (try doughnuts instead (joke!)).)

But that feeling that by buying heat and its competitors, by being interesting in Celebrity cellulite etc, that I was culpable it did not go away. I started to feel a little bit queasy.

The recent press coverage of Britney Spears breakdown made me awful. Anybody who profits photos of somebody who 24 hours before had been released from mental institution is immoral.
But by reading the site I was at the very least amoral. I was swallowing it down avidly, no better than those people who stand and gape at ambulances sucking in every last drop of human misery.

Then I saw this article on holy moly, one of my favourite sites, about how they were no longer going to use intrusive paparazzi photo. And it summed up what I'd been thinking.

So I'm going to try and not be trivial. I'm not going to read or buy these magazines anymore, or visit the websites.

I'm not arrogant enough to think that this will make any difference in the grand scheme of things. But it will make a difference to me.

Sorry seems to be the hardest word...

Because when is referencing Elton John songs not a good idea :)

I saw this yesterday. A lot of people I've talked to seem a little dismissive of this speech at the opening of the Australian parliament.

Whether or not you think we in the present are responsible for the atrocities commited by past generations undoubtably almost all of us have profited from our ancestors collusion and in some cases persecution of minorities. However far back you delve into a countries past there are dirty little secrets (and not so secret) And the more successful the country partly in the colonial sphere the larger and more geographically widespread the mistakes.

I think the Australian government have done a great thing. Really what they are saying is:
1) This happened
2) It was not OK that it did
3) And we as representative of the electorate are saying sorry
4) In the future we will try to bridge the widespread economic, educational, and social gap to make recompense for the mistakes of the past.

Don't hold your breath for the English parliament doing anything similar anytime soon

The book journal

For Christmas this year my best friend Bunny gave me a book journal. An A5 size notepad with sections neatly divided into books read, books to read, and books lent/borrowed. This was the perfect gift for me. I am a notorious bibliophile, if I don't have a stack of ten books to read next I get antsy. I have a wide and varied palette, I read: sci fi, fantasy, ya, ya, ya fantasy, ya sci fi, literary fiction, classics, crime, historicals, romance, auto/biographies, non fiction etc. However apart from one notorious summer when I counted the number of books I read (80), I've never kept a record of the books I read or reviewed them.

Recently I've begun reading in a different way. I still read for pleasure, to devour stories, to dive into imaginary worlds, to immerse myself in the thoughts and feelings of characters. Now I've started deconstructing books, pulling them apart to examine the mechanics of structure/plot, characters, description, and dialogue. This is because instead of reading from a consumer point of view I've started writing seriously for the first time.

I have been writing stories from as early as I can remember. An overly imaginative (delusional :)) child I would walk down the end of the garden and tell stories to the vegetable patch and the fairies I believed lived in the fronds of the rhubarb and slept cradled in the pea shells. But this was the first book I ever finished. At the moment I'm neck deep in revisions which are more taxing and strangely more rewarding than I ever could imagine.

So in order to procrastinate a little bit more I've decided to blog about the books I read, as well about the revision process (lots of pathetic moaning ahoy) and anything else that catches my fancy