Blah

The clocks going forward + the return of a five day week + Monday morning = does not an awake Rowan make.

To compensate for my extreme sleepiness I am listening to Lastfm very loudly (how much does lastfm rock? A radio station that adapts to your music preferences, yes please).

Other things I am loving in no particular order

• seeing my friends. It was one of my best friend's birthdays this weekend. There was pink wavers, balloons, angel cards, pink champagne, a gay and very not gay cat and a game of two lies and a truth in which we fruitlessly tried to find things we hadn't already confessed to each other. All in all I have some of the funniest, sickest, loveliest friends in the world (but never the nicest :))
• Blenio, if you are a Brightonian you must try this restaurant. Located close to seven dials its a European bistro set around intimate sized tables complete with fresh herbs, fruit and vegetables as a centre piece. The food is delicious my main was spinach and riccoti cake, potato rosti with cherry tomatoes and a rocket dressing. Yummy. The Boy had quail for his starter, followed by pork belly, and sticky toffee pudding for dessert. I had a chocolat tart with raspberry coulis and mascarpone. Even more entertaining was the two old ladies eating behind me who were having an edifying conversation about their sex lives.
  
• TV wise I have been mostly watching: Gossip girl (trashy, bitchy brain candy), Reaper (slacker comedy you must indulge in for the oleaginous devil, and Sock who is my new TV best friend).
• dressing up, I'm already planning my outfit for this weeks burlesque fun. I can't wait
  
• Word of the day: mendacious aka a posh way to say lying.
  

Revision neurosis

Was browsing the interwebs when I came across this on Libba Bray's livejournal

'I’m convinced that self-loathing is just a huge part of the writing process. The first draft is like getting dressed in a dark room, and revision is like being in the cruel, fluorescent glare of the dressing rooms in Macy’s with its three-way mirrors. Necessary and painful.'

Word. Except my inner critic is Trinny and Susannah combined and has a big pokey stick to draw attention to all the wobbly bits (back, inner critic, back). Thank god I'm not the only one who feels like this.

Anyway back to, yanno, work.

Half full, half empty?

I've been musing about whether my views of life, the universe, everything are reflected in the fiction I write. In real life I'm a optimistic person. I try my hardest to make the best out of things, to try, to have fun, and treasure those I love. I know that bad things happen to good people, that there is little correlation between virtue and a happy life. Sometimes tragedy comes out the sky, it strikes and there is very little you can do to prevent. So why worry? Instead focus on the good things in life, the things that you as an individual have control over.

As a writer I take great pleasure in being a god in my own self created universe. As such I want my good characters to have nice things happen to them and evil doers to be punished. Simple, non? Boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, they live happily ever after. Great for the characters as people, less interesting in narrative terms. Conflict drives the story. So I do horrible, horrendous things to my characters. I punish them. I give them what they want only to take it away or have it turn out that it wasn't what they wanted after all. I am an old testament smotey god.

But the problems/conflicts are often, inevitably of the characters own making. Because although I do believe that sometimes bad situations happen to good people, it deepens the drama for me if the characters partially create and are responsible for their own downfall (think Macbeth whose cycle of violence springs relentlessly back on himself 'I am so steeped in blood that, should I wade no more/ Returning is as difficult as going over to the other side').

I like HEA (happy ever afters) but I need my characters to earn them. To grow and to change throughout the process of the books only then do they get their HEA.

Eight random things

So Easter rocks. Spent most of my time up in London visiting The Boys parents, meeting Indy (the cat), and dropped in on my family. It snowed for most of the weekend which made London look like Narnia. Even better, I got a extra day off on Thursday and I get extra day off tomorrow making five whole days off in total. Thank you lovely employer.

The delightful Rowan (the other one) tagged me to list eight random things about myself. So, very belatedly, here they are:

I hate brushing my hair (as any picture taken over the last couple of years proves.) I have very thick easily tangleable hair which eats combs which sends me into a Verucca Salt temper tantrum.. Also I am very indolent and combing hair is just too much effort. Helena Bonham Carter is my idol, not only does she embrace the birds nests, she makes it a statement and even has matching bird nested hubby Tim Burton. Fab! I am currently engaged in a life long war of attrition with my mum where she vainly tries to stop me from looking like human version of what-a-mess. She is failing.

I have a tattoo (of a pentegram), a scar of a cats paws on my thigh, and have been pierced nine times (including two self piercings) but I only wear earrings now.

I won an award when I was 10 for a story about powder monkeys in the Napoleanic wars. The story was my first unwitting attempt at slash fiction and depicted the 'friendship' between two boys. Twas a hearbreaking work of staggering genius (damn you Eggers!). I always loved the HoYay.

This is gross, I once had blisters so bad on my feet that my entire sole peeled off. The doctors took photos for medical journals and said it was the worst case of trench foot they had seen in this decade. To recreate this at home all you need is Soft feet+ speedwalking+ wet socks (from swimming)+ thick sport socks = trenchfoot. Even grosser it took two lessons for me to notice my shoes had filled up with blood.

I am obsessed with tennis. I've no idea why as 1)I'm completely dyspraxic, 2) I find most sports boring too watch 3) Up until the age of 15 I hated tennis too. I have been to Wimbeldon six times, Eastbourne three times, and Queens once. I have seen Steffi Graf, Andre Agassi (three times!), Mark Philippoussis, Tim Henman (three times (:), Pat Rafter, Lleyton Hewitt, Maria Sharapova, and Serena Williams play.

I used to act (badly). I have played Alice in Alice in Wonderland, The Caterpillar in the aforementioned play, The Fool in King Lear, a nurse, a fairy, a Lost Boy, Jasmine in Aladdin, Cinderella, and a nanny.

If I were a superhero my special power would be the ability to heal (ruling out any Rogue/Peter style powers which is just being greedy)

So tagging:
Ros A journey with no answers
Irayla Mingitas world
Go!

She's a pistol

I've had a good weekend. But now I'm deep into the Sunday blues that even a three day week can't alleviate. Bleurgh.

I went back home for the weekend. The Boys mum and dad are moving to my home town and we went for a look round their new home. Its gorgeous, high ceilings, beautifully finished and with its only mini temple in the garden. Then I went up on the hill to see the folks .

Today, I just lounged in bed and indulged in my new obsession, Veronica Mars. Veronica is the daughter of a PI, an outcast and a former member of the 09ners the rich kids that rule the school. Her best friend Lily Kane was murdered and her father the former sheriff was discredited after going the father of the Kanes. The show is brilliant Veronica is approachable, feisty, interesting, but never smug. She's like the new Nancy Drew. The shows funny and sad a little bit twin peaks, a little bit buffy. Go watch it, go watch it now!

{Does anyone know to cut and hide things? I really want to rave in detail about certain books and shows without spoilering them for friends}

Less of a recommendation more of avoid this if you don't want to be a little bored. We're watching the mist at the moment which is filled with people jostling for the position of 'Too-stupid-to-live' from the religious freak lady, unbelieving attorney, callow youth etc. Its not quite as bad as cloverfield (30 minutes of drunken party footage, 1 hour and a half of running and screaming with unlikable stupid characters) but what is? Anyway you can tell how interested I am in by the fact I'm surfing the internet instead of watching the damn thing. Although interesting ending

Example 1 of how hypothetical situations ruin relationships was not too impressed that The Boy just remarked 'why is he going back for his wife'. Hmmm

My friend joey has joined the blogging revolution with his friend leo. Go and check out their film review blog over here

All about me

It's Friday and I'm feeling very lazy indeed. So because I'm starved for ideas and a friend forwarded this to me today, this post is all about me!

Two Men I’d Love to Date if I Were Single (and they were single):
- A tortured artiste and I would be his muse
- An rocker/geek guy

I Am Wearing...
- Black tshirt with sequinned tie, long black skirt and boots

Two Things I Would Want in a Relationship:
- Love
- Kismet/that click moment

Two of My Favorite Things to do:
- Read
- Spend time with those I love

Two Things I Want Very Badly At the Moment:
- Sleep
- A massage

Two things I did recently:
- Bitched for 25 minutes about how dire our work email client is
- Stared longingly out of the window in the hopes that protesters may storm the building and I can go home early

Two things I ate today:
- Sultana and butter cookie (for breakfast), macaroni cheese (it was v yummy)

Two things I’m doing tomorrow:
- Writing/revising my book
- Spending some one on one time with The Boy

Two Favorite Holidays:
- Christmas and August Bank Holiday (not really a holiday I know)

Two Things about me, things you may not have known about me:
- Up until the age of 10 I slept with the night light on
- I am completely ambivalent towards dolls, fluffy teddies etc

Two of my Favorite Foods:
- halloumi and roasted vegetable kebabs
- chocolate cheesecake

3 things I'm loving about Lost this series

I'm really getting into Lost again. I can't help it. I know it's the TV equivalent of that hot guy with the perfect hair and the air of mystery – until you actually talk to him and figure out the perfect hair is hours spent in front of the mirror and the air of mystery is just somebody without anything interesting to say. Even when I'm faced with the almost certain realisation that there is no way the writers are going to be able to tie up all the loose ends in the conclusion of the show, I still love it. I need help.

Anyway the show has definitely started getting more interesting since it has confirmed that it has a end point. So in honour of the fourth season (IMHO the most compelling series yet) I thought I'd post 3 things I love about Lost:

1) The flash-forwards are utter genius. In the third series they managed to breathe new life into the flash backs by concentrating on the others. But still they are only so many times you can look at Jack's fascinating previous life (yawn). I mean we get it your a spine surgeon, with daddy issues, a divorce, and a drinking problem do we really need to rehash old. So when the series finale of season three focussed on yet more Jack flashbacks I was bored - until the ending 'we have to go back to the island.' Eeek! And I was so glad this continued in the fourth season.
2) Ben, he may be weaselly googly eye machiavellian freak, but he's unbelievably compelling. Unlike some of the less believable characters Ben's actions always seem in keeping with his character. That Ben may turn out to be the saviour of the lostaways is well genius.
3) An actual, gulp, explanation appears to be forthcoming for the messed up physics of the island. How the polars bears are going to fit in who knows?

Procrastination thy name is Rowan

So you set yourself a firm, not to be moved deadline, that you will send your novel out for beta reading at the end of March. And you know that by then you have to work day and night to complete the revisions needed so the novel is in as good as state as it possibly can be. Knowing this would you:
a)revise in lunchtimes, after work, before work, forgoing sleep, food and all others things but the WORK.
b)practise your guitar hero skills until the 29th of March then panic and spend a frantic day shifting commas like deckchairs on the Titanic
c) Write 1,500 words of a new project completely unrelated to WIP, and excitably start drawing up outlines for the birthing process of your new baby.

If the answer is c then you are an eejit just like me. So I am firmly going to back away from the keyboard until all thoughts of my fabulous new project fade from my mind. If only if it was that easy ...

Website of the week - Best of Craigslist

So I thought I would start a semi-regular* feature of website of the week, in which I recommend a new or old favourite website for many hours of procrastinating goodness.

Craigslist has finally hit my home town. I'm quite excited because the pure random weirdness of Craigslist combined with weirdness of local people=comedy gold.

If your new to the wonders of Craigslist you have to check out this website Best of Craigslist. Reader of the site filter the weirdest, grossest, funniest entries for a best of category.

And some of these posts are absolutely genius:

Like this My Turtle needs a booty call, this turtle the 'John Holmes of turtles' has recently become 'a man' and needs a 'special friend.'

bathroom stall at work - at least he washed his hands, hmm?

Get well balloon, a deflating balloon free fab

I love this guy, Lets frolic in my totally dope blanket fort anybody who's a fan of blanket forts is OK by me.

In other random news I'm having a really fun Sunday evenings while I'm wasting time on the internet the guys are building humane mouse traps out of lego. Its like scrapheap challenge but smaller. Of course Mr F's mousetrap doesn't really have a hair trigger - more of obese mouse/small cat trigger. I haven't quite pointed out the flaw in his plan ...

*aka whenever I can be bothered

Hot Horse Sex

Thanks Mr F for the title of this post.

So I went to see Equus last night. This necessitated a trek along the coast in the torrential rain and blasting winds. I love small seaside towns out of season, there's something about the feeling that you are one of the few people to discover a town and its secrets. And it was great to escape from the pretentious skinny jeans crowds.

Equus was very interesting. I must admit apart from the nudity, Hot Horse Sex, and Alfie Allen (Lily Allen's younger brother) I didn't know much about the play before seeing it. I didn't realise that the play was originally written in the 70's and apart from the psychology it hadn't dated signficantly.

The play is the tale of a Dr Martin Dysart who is asked by a magistrate friend to treat a 17 year old boy Alan Strang who blinded six horses. The play is like a detective story with Dysart unravelling Strang's motivations for his crime, with help from Strang himself, his mother, father, and Jill the girl at the stables where he worked. and Nugget the horse with which Alan developed a strange relationship.

Perhaps one of the greatest gifts of the play is that despite the subject matter - which in the hands of a less skilful cast could have been sensational (see title) you identified and sympathised with the conflicted Strang. Alfie Allan was great at portraying the twisted religious sexual needs Strang builds into Equus and the roots of his obsession.

I loved the staging the stark dark blocks that littered the stage, that could be changed from beds, seats, horses, effortlessly showing a beach, stable and psychiatrist friend. The horses were exceptional creepy wire heads set on actor/dancer bodies whose body language effortlessly conveyed nervous horses. They all wore fetishistic high heeled wire hooves as they jumped and pranced around the stage. And in the climatic blinding scene, their unearthly blue lights were extinguished one by one. Very much recommended.

High point: when they were smoking on stage a random old guy near the front shouted out 'I can smell that from here'. Its not panto honey :) Although I was slightly disappointed he was suitably hushed during the naked scene - now that would have been funny.

Low point: I was having a funny two minutes when Simon Callow was speechifying at the end of the play and inadvertently missed the ending. Boo hiss